O God of bosons

A spoof hymn to celebrate the first operation of the LHC at CERN.

1. O God of bosons, by whose Higgs
   thy universe hath mass,
   who round this weary LHC
   doth all our hadrons smash.

2. Our quarks, our leptons, we present
   however charmed or strange;
   and whether they be up or down,
   or gauge bosons exchanged.

3. Through their perplexing QCD,
   through SU3 gauge group,
   give, through Poincaré symmetry,
   a path from Lie to truth.

4. O let us non-excluded be,
   let not our wonderings cease,
   but by Feynman trajectory
   be superposed in peace.

Copyright © David Lee, with apologies to Philip Doddridge (1702-1751).
LHC "Big Bang" Day, 10/09/08 [07, 06, 05, ...]

• It is hoped the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) will, amongst other things, find evidence for the hypothesised "Higgs boson".
• The Higgs boson is nicknamed the "God particle" which, it is thought, gives things their weight, or more accurately, mass.
• Capitalisation of Lie is, of course, intentional (as any quantum physicist will tell you).
• Pronunciation of Lie is, sadly, "Lee", so "Lie to truth" suffers in oral translation.
• The physics in this hymn-spoof is admittedly poor. But the theology is even worse.
• If you understand it, then:
  1. please explain it to me;
  2. you should probably try to get out more.
• So-called "Big Bang" day is completely misnamed. The LHC's first "bang" isn't scheduled for several months.