O God of bosons

A spoof hymn to celebrate the first operation of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at CERN.

1. O God of bosons, by whose Higgs thy universe hath mass, who round this weary LHC doth all our hadrons smash. 2. Our quarks, our leptons, we present however charmed or strange; and whether they be up or down, or gauge bosons exchanged. 3. Through their perplexing QCD, through SU3 gauge group, give, through Poincaré symmetry, a path from Lie to truth. 4. O let us non-excluded be, let not our wonderings cease, but by Feynman trajectory be superposed in peace.

With apologies to Philip Doddridge (1702-1751), author of "O God of Bethel, by whose hand".

It is hoped the LHC will, amongst other things, find evidence for the hypothesised Higgs boson, nicknamed the "God particle", which, it is thought, gives things their weight, or more accurately, mass.

The capitalisation of Lie (for the mathematical Quantum Lie Group) is, of course, intentional. But its pronunciation is, sadly, "Lee", so "Lie to truth" suffers in oral translation.

The physics in this hymn-spoof is admittedly poor. But the theology is even worse. If you understand it, then:

  1. please explain it to me;
  2. you should probably try to get out more.

The so-called "Big Bang" day is completely misnamed. The LHC's first "bang" isn't scheduled for several months.

If you're more into rap than hymns, then check out the Large Hadron Rap.